Return to Office Stress: How to Adjust to Commuting and In-Person Work Again

For a while, your commute was the walk from your bedroom to the kitchen table. You threw in a load of laundry between meetings, ate lunch with your dog and skipped the morning traffic entirely. Then the email arrived: everyone back in the office, three days a week. Or four. Or five.

Return-to-office (RTO) mandates have become one of the most talked-about workplace issues of recent years. Many large companies have pulled employees back to in-person work, and for a lot of people, it's been a hard adjustment. If you're feeling stressed, frustrated or exhausted about going back, that's understandable. Big changes to daily routines take time to settle, but there are ways to make the transition easier.

Why return to office feels so hard

Lost time

Commuting eats into time that was spent on sleep, exercise, family or rest. According to U.S. Census data, the average one-way commute is around 26 to 27 minutes, which adds up to several hours a week, and many people commute much longer.

Commuting stress

Traffic, crowded trains, delays and unpredictable travel can be genuinely stressful. Studies have linked long commutes with lower life satisfaction and more stress.

Costs

Gas, parking, transit fares, work clothes, lunches and coffee add up quickly. For parents, childcare costs can also rise.

Disrupted routines

Many people built new routines during remote work, like midday walks, family dinners, school pickups or caring for relatives. RTO can upend them.

Distractions

Open offices can be noisy and full of interruptions, which can make focused work harder. Our guide to noise pollution explains why noise is so draining.

Loss of autonomy

For many people, the hardest part isn't the office itself. It's losing control over how and where they work.

The upsides of in-person work

It's not all bad. Many people also notice benefits:

• More social connection and spontaneous conversations
• Easier collaboration on complex projects
• Mentorship and learning from colleagues, especially for early-career workers
• Clearer boundaries between work and home
• Less loneliness, which can be a real issue in remote work. See our guide to remote work loneliness.

Recognizing what you gain can make the adjustment easier, even if you'd still prefer more flexibility.

How to adjust to return to office

1. Ease into new routines

Give yourself a few weeks to adjust. Prepare the night before: pack your bag, plan your outfit and prep lunch. A consistent morning routine reduces decision fatigue.

2. Protect your sleep

An earlier start can cut into sleep. Try moving your bedtime earlier gradually, by 15 minutes at a time. Our guide to how much sleep adults need explains why it matters.

3. Reclaim your commute

Turn travel time into "me time" where you can:

• Listen to audiobooks, podcasts or music
• Learn a language. See our guide to learning a language as an adult.
• Call a friend (hands-free if driving)
• Meditate or practice breathing on public transit
• Walk or bike part of the way for built-in exercise

Some people use the commute as a mental transition: preparing for the day on the way in and decompressing on the way home.

4. Make office days count

Use in-person days for activities that benefit from being together: brainstorming, collaboration, mentoring, team lunches and relationship-building. Save heads-down work for remote days if you have a hybrid schedule.

5. Protect focus time

If the office is noisy, try:

• Noise-cancelling headphones
• Booking quiet rooms or focus spaces
• Blocking focus time on your calendar
• Agreeing on team signals for "do not disturb"

Our guide to deep work and focus has more strategies.

6. Build movement into your day

Office life can mean more sitting. Take the stairs, walk at lunch, stand during calls and take microbreaks at work.

7. Cut commuting costs

• Check if your employer offers commuter benefits, like pre-tax transit passes
• Carpool with coworkers
• Pack lunch and bring coffee from home
• Look into bike-to-work programs
• Track your new expenses and adjust your budget. Our 50/30/20 budget guide can help.

8. Plan family logistics

If you have kids or care responsibilities, work out a plan with your partner, family or childcare providers. Share calendars and plan backups for sick days and school closures.

9. Make your workspace yours

A plant, a photo, a comfortable chair cushion or a favorite mug can make your office space feel more welcoming. Our guide to biophilic design at home has ideas that work at a desk too.

10. Connect with coworkers

Lean into the social side. Invite someone for coffee, join a lunch group or say yes to team events. Friendships at work are linked with higher engagement and wellbeing.

Talking to your manager about flexibility

If the new arrangement isn't working, it may be worth a conversation. Tips:

• Know the policy and whether exceptions exist
• Focus on results, explaining how flexibility helps you do your best work
• Propose a specific solution, like adjusted hours to avoid rush hour or a trial period of a different schedule
• Mention practical needs, such as caregiving or health conditions
• Stay calm and collaborative

If you have a disability or health condition, you may have rights to reasonable accommodations under laws like the Americans with Disabilities Act. Talk to HR about the process.

When RTO affects your mental health

Some stress during transitions is normal. But if you're experiencing ongoing anxiety, exhaustion, low mood or burnout, take it seriously. Our guides to burnout signs and recovery and Sunday scaries may help. Many employers offer free counseling through employee assistance programs (EAPs). And if the arrangement truly doesn't fit your life, it's okay to consider whether a different role or company might be a better fit.

A first-month return-to-office plan

Big routine changes are easier in stages. Here's a simple way to approach your first month back:

Week 1: Survive and observe

• Prep your bag, clothes and lunch the night before
• Leave a little early so delays don't spike your stress
• Notice what drains you and what you actually enjoy about being in person

Week 2: Adjust your routines

• Shift your bedtime earlier if mornings feel rushed
• Pick one way to use your commute that feels like yours, like a podcast or audiobook
• Find a quiet spot in the office for focused work

Week 3: Lean into connection

• Invite one coworker for coffee or lunch
• Schedule collaborative meetings for office days
• Join one team or social activity

Week 4: Review and fine-tune

• Look at what's working and what isn't
• Recalculate your new monthly costs and adjust your budget
• If something truly isn't sustainable, prepare for a calm, solution-focused conversation with your manager

Taking care of your energy

Commuting and in-person days can leave you more tired than remote work at first, partly because your body and brain are adjusting to new demands. Plan lighter evenings on office days for the first few weeks, eat a proper breakfast, keep a water bottle at your desk and get outside at lunch when you can. A short walk in daylight can do wonders for afternoon energy and mood.

Frequently asked questions

Why is returning to the office so stressful?

Returning to the office often means losing time to commuting, higher costs, disrupted routines, more distractions and less control over how you work.

How can I make my commute less stressful?

Prepare the night before, leave a little early, use the time for podcasts, audiobooks or calls, and consider walking, biking or carpooling.

How do I adjust to working in an office again?

Ease into new routines, protect your sleep, use office days for collaboration, protect focus time and build movement into your day.

Can I ask my employer for a flexible schedule?

Yes. Focus on how flexibility supports your work, propose a specific solution and be open to compromise. If you have a disability or health condition, ask HR about accommodations.

Are there benefits to working in the office?

Many people find in-person work offers more social connection, easier collaboration, mentorship and clearer boundaries between work and home.

Work that fits your life supports your whole wellbeing. Take our free wellness wheel quiz to see how your occupational wellness is doing.