Loneliness Is a Health Issue. Here's How to Feel More Connected

You can be lonely in a crowded office. You can be lonely in a marriage. And you can live alone and feel completely connected. Loneliness isn't about how many people are around you. It's the gap between the connection you have and the connection you need.

It's also far more than a bad mood.

Why loneliness is a health issue

In 2023, US Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy released an advisory called Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation. It described lacking social connection as a serious public health concern, and pointed to research suggesting the health risk can be comparable to smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day.

The advisory linked loneliness and isolation to a higher risk of heart disease, stroke, dementia in older adults, depression and anxiety. People with strong social ties, on the other hand, tend to live longer.

That's a big deal. It means calling a friend isn't a nice extra after the "real" health stuff. It is real health stuff.

Signs you might be lonely

Loneliness doesn't always feel like sadness. It can show up as:

• feeling like nobody really knows you
• scrolling social media and feeling worse afterward
• dreading weekends or evenings
• feeling tired, irritable or flat for no clear reason
• being reluctant to reach out because it's been so long

That last one is sneaky. The longer we're disconnected, the harder reaching out feels, so we wait, and the gap grows.

Small ways to build connection

You don't need to become a social butterfly. Connection grows in small, repeated moments.

Reach out first

Send one message today. "Thinking of you." "Saw this and it reminded me of you." Most people are happy to hear from an old friend, even if it's been years. They've probably been meaning to reach out too.

Turn online into in-person

Text conversations are great. A walk, a coffee or a phone call is better. Hearing someone's voice or seeing their face builds closeness faster than a thread of messages.

Join something that meets regularly

Friendships form through repeated contact. A weekly class, a running group, a volunteer shift, a faith community, a book club or a pickup game all give you the same faces again and again, which is how acquaintances turn into friends.

Talk to the "weak ties"

Chatting with the barista, a neighbor or the person next to you at the dog park counts. These small exchanges really do lift your mood and make your day feel less isolated.

Help someone

Volunteering, checking on an elderly neighbor or helping a friend move gets you out of your own head and builds connection naturally.

Put the phone down when you're with people

Being fully present makes time together count for more. Try leaving your phone in another room during one meal a day.

If it's been a long time

Reaching out after years of silence feels awkward. Name it and move on: "I know it's been forever, and I'm sorry I fell off. I'd love to catch up." Awkward for ten seconds beats lonely for another year.

When loneliness turns into something more

If loneliness comes with persistent low mood, losing interest in things you used to enjoy, or thoughts of self-harm, please talk to a doctor or therapist. Loneliness and depression often travel together, and both are treatable.

Your one step for this week

Write down three people you'd like to be closer to. Contact one of them before Sunday.

Social wellness is one of the eight dimensions on our wellness wheel quiz. See how yours compares with the other seven.