Loving-Kindness Meditation (Metta): How to Practice and Why It Works

Close your eyes for a moment and picture someone you love deeply. Maybe a child, a grandparent, a best friend or even a beloved pet. Notice the warmth that shows up in your chest. Now silently wish them well: May you be happy. May you be healthy. May you be safe.

That simple act is the heart of loving-kindness meditation, also known as metta. It's a practice of intentionally cultivating feelings of warmth, kindness and goodwill toward yourself and others. It sounds gentle, and it is, but research suggests it can have surprisingly powerful effects on how we feel and how we connect with others. In a world that can feel divided and harsh, it's a beautiful practice to have in your toolkit.

What is loving-kindness meditation?

Loving-kindness meditation is a practice where you silently repeat phrases of goodwill, first toward yourself, then gradually toward others, eventually including all beings. The goal is to cultivate an attitude of kindness and warmth, not to force feelings, but to gently open the heart.

The word metta comes from Pali, an ancient language of Buddhist texts, and is often translated as "loving-kindness," "friendliness" or "benevolence." Metta is one of four qualities in Buddhist teachings known as the brahmaviharas, alongside compassion, sympathetic joy and equanimity.

You don't need to be Buddhist to practice loving-kindness. Today, it's taught in secular settings, including mindfulness programs, schools, hospitals and workplaces.

What the research says

Loving-kindness meditation has been studied by psychologists for nearly two decades.

More positive emotions

In a well-known 2008 study, psychologist Barbara Fredrickson and colleagues found that people who practiced loving-kindness meditation over several weeks experienced increases in daily positive emotions, like joy, gratitude and contentment. Over time, these positive emotions were linked with increases in personal resources, like a sense of purpose, social support and mindfulness, and with greater life satisfaction.

More social connection

A 2008 study by Cendri Hutcherson and colleagues found that even a few minutes of loving-kindness meditation increased feelings of social connection and positivity toward strangers.

Self-compassion

Loving-kindness practice is closely related to self-compassion, which research has linked with lower anxiety and depression and better emotional resilience. Our guide to self-compassion explores this.

Stress and wellbeing

Reviews of loving-kindness and compassion meditation have found associations with reduced stress and improved wellbeing, though many studies are small and more research is needed.

Reducing bias

Some research suggests loving-kindness meditation may reduce implicit bias toward certain groups, though findings are still emerging.

Benefits of loving-kindness meditation

People commonly report:

• Feeling warmer and more connected to others
• More patience and less irritability
• Greater self-kindness
• Less resentment
• More positive emotions
• A greater sense of peace
• Feeling less isolated

How to practice loving-kindness meditation

Step 1: Get comfortable

Sit comfortably with your back upright but relaxed, or lie down. Close your eyes or lower your gaze. Take a few slow breaths.

Step 2: Start with yourself

Bring yourself to mind. You might picture yourself as a child, or simply feel your presence. Silently repeat phrases like:

• May I be happy.
• May I be healthy.
• May I be safe.
• May I live with ease.

Say them slowly. Let them land. If feelings of warmth arise, welcome them. If not, that's okay too. The intention matters.

Step 3: Someone you love

Bring to mind someone you love easily, like a friend, family member, mentor or pet. Picture them and repeat:

• May you be happy.
• May you be healthy.
• May you be safe.
• May you live with ease.

Step 4: A neutral person

Think of someone you see but don't know well, like a barista, neighbor or coworker. Offer them the same wishes.

Step 5: A difficult person

If you feel ready, bring to mind someone you find difficult. Start with someone mildly frustrating rather than someone who deeply hurt you. Offer them the same phrases. This doesn't mean excusing their behavior. It means wishing them well as a fellow human being. Our guide to forgiveness explores this more.

Step 6: All beings

Finally, expand your wishes to everyone: your community, your country, people around the world and all living beings.

• May all beings be happy.
• May all beings be healthy.
• May all beings be safe.
• May all beings live with ease.

Step 7: Rest

Sit quietly for a moment and notice how you feel. Then gently open your eyes.

How long should you practice?

Start with five to 10 minutes. With practice, you can extend to 20 minutes or more. Even a minute or two, offering kind wishes to the people you pass on the street, can make a difference.

Choosing your phrases

Traditional phrases work well, but you can choose words that feel meaningful to you. Some alternatives:

• May you be free from suffering.
• May you feel loved.
• May you be at peace.
• May you be kind to yourself.
• May you feel strong and supported.

Keep them simple, positive and easy to remember.

When loving-kindness feels hard

"It feels fake"

That's very common at first. You don't need to feel overflowing love. Think of it like planting seeds. The practice is the intention, and feelings often grow over time.

"I can't direct kindness toward myself"

Many people find self-kindness the hardest part. Try starting with a loved one or a pet, then return to yourself. You might also picture yourself as a child, which can make self-compassion easier.

"I don't want to wish a difficult person well"

You don't have to. Skip that step until you feel ready, or start with someone only mildly difficult. Loving-kindness never requires you to accept harm or abandon boundaries.

"Difficult emotions come up"

Sometimes kindness practices bring up grief or sadness, especially if you haven't received much kindness. Be gentle with yourself. If emotions feel overwhelming, pause and ground yourself with the 5-4-3-2-1 technique, or talk to a therapist.

Variations of loving-kindness practice

Walking loving-kindness

As you walk, silently wish people you pass well. Our guide to walking meditation explains how to walk mindfully.

Loving-kindness before bed

Practice for a few minutes as you fall asleep, sending kind wishes to the people in your life.

Loving-kindness in tough moments

When you feel irritated by someone, like in traffic or a long line, silently wish them well. It can soften frustration.

Loving-kindness journaling

Write kind wishes for yourself and others in your journal. Our guide to journaling for self-reflection has more ideas.

Self-compassion break

Developed by researcher Kristin Neff, this short practice involves noticing suffering, remembering that everyone struggles and offering yourself kindness: "This is hard. I'm not alone. May I be kind to myself."

Loving-kindness and social wellness

Loving-kindness can help you feel more connected to others, which supports social wellness. It pairs beautifully with practices like active listening and volunteering, and can soften the sense of isolation explored in our guide to loneliness and health.

A one-minute loving-kindness practice

Short on time? Try this whenever you have a spare minute: take one slow breath, picture someone you care about and silently say, "May you be happy. May you be well." Then offer the same words to yourself. It's a lovely way to start the day, end a meeting or soften a stressful moment.

Frequently asked questions

What is loving-kindness meditation?

Loving-kindness meditation, or metta, is a practice of silently repeating phrases of goodwill toward yourself and others, gradually extending kindness to all beings.

What are the benefits of loving-kindness meditation?

Research suggests it can increase positive emotions, social connection and self-compassion, and may reduce stress.

What do you say in loving-kindness meditation?

Common phrases include "May you be happy. May you be healthy. May you be safe. May you live with ease." You can choose words that feel meaningful to you.

How long should I practice loving-kindness meditation?

Start with five to 10 minutes a day. Even a minute or two can be helpful.

Do I have to send loving-kindness to people who hurt me?

No. You can skip that step or start with someone only mildly difficult. Loving-kindness never requires you to accept harm.

Kindness grows the more we practice it. See how your spiritual wellness is doing with our free wellness wheel quiz.